When it comes to dealing with difficult people in life, we often try to prepare for the worst and make a plan of attack. The common attitude is, “Oh no! I have a problem; how do I fix it?”
Handling troublesome colleagues in the workplace can have its own set of unique challenges – projects, people and processes can become affected, not to mention your own sense of well-being and job enjoyment.
Is it possible to have a “battle plan” for dealing with colleagues and create a beneficial outcome for all without turning the workplace into a war-zone? Thankfully, yes. With some simple tactics and a shift in perspective, you can turn the tables on difficult colleagues and have more ease among your business relationships.
A colleague going out of their way to fight you can be very disconcerting. When I first experienced it myself, I couldn’t figure out why it was happening.
This person would be nice...
From colleagues with petty jealousies, controlling micro-managers and rude customers, to straight up verbal abuse, unwanted attention and bullying — with a recent American Working Conditions Survey citing that nearly one in five employees are exposed to hostility or harassment in their social environment at work. Chances are you too are being faced with difficult or even toxic people. There will always be people who will not play nice, and at this point in time, learning to deal with toxic people in ways that don’t alter our enjoyment of life and work is going to be a much more effective tactic than hoping and believing that people should stop acting up.
Check your mental attitude
The first step to better dealing with difficult people is checking that we have not fallen into a victim mindset. Indicated by the feeling or belief that we are powerless to change it, or that we must confront and fight our way out of a corner, a victim mentality creates us as essentially...
It all changed for me when I was a social worker and realized that it wasn’t only my clients — troubled teenagers, challenged adults and people with prison sentences — who were trapped by their life conditions and labels such as poor, uneducated, addict or criminal.
I, too, was trapped in my role as mother and wife in a small country town, feeling isolated and depressed. My husband was unwilling to move, so to honor my truth I was forced to make a difficult decision, leaving the kids with their father in their country town home.
There is so much judgement around how a mum “should” be, how a wife “should” be, and it all felt small and limited to me. I felt stuck, like I was in a cave and I wanted to have myself in my life and be happy again, for me and for the kids. It required a lot of courage and trust in myself, to protect myself against the judgement people project at me, my kids and my ex-husband. I adore them and without us all trying...
I had this wonderful dream of being the most perfect stay at home mom—cooking my children the most wonderful meals, doing the most fun activities, having the best toys for them, playing and doing handicrafts and educating my kids with the best material. Basically, I would be the greatest mom imaginable.
After the first couple of year of motherhood, I realized that I was not fitting into my own expectations and projections or being the perfect mom. Motherhood did not look and feel like I thought it would, and many times it was not what I decided it should be! Most often I felt really wrong for not achieving my own goals of motherhood and I made myself feel worse by constantly comparing myself to other moms.
My neighbor had four kids in six years and loves being a stay home mom. She sometimes has my two kids at her house in the afternoon too, and she has so much ease with all those kids! She cooks every day, helps them with homework, organizes the whole family and keeps a...
Are you interested in creating a business that works fr you and not feeling wrong about it?
There are so many labels, stereotypes and judgements about doing and being in business: you work to hard (or not hard enough), you don't earn enough (or you charge too much), you don't take enough time "off" to relax or spend enough time with family and friends. Maybe you don't fit into the "normal" ideas of working either: business hours 9-5 Monday to Friday, no work Saturday and Sunday then start again on Monday with no joy or excitement because it's "work, and therefore not meant to be fun.
If you are in business for yourself, you're probably already aware that you are different from others when it comes to business and have maybe struggled with judgements and reactions around you because of it.
I have changed jobs frequently and love working a lot, no matter what time of day it is or how much in the day! People judged me as indecisive and a workaholic which left me feeling confused...
In a world in constant conflict about what is good, bad, right, and wrong - it’s no wonder it can seem impossible to find our own sense of truth among all the defined standards, judgments and expectations! When do you stop listening to what the world tells you is right and begin listening to what you know is right, true and authentic for you?
Judgements are essentially all the values, ideals, points of view and perspectives we are entrained to adopt as our own from the moment we are born. We rarely question their validity, absorbing them unconsciously, and when we discover that we don’t fit in with those judgments, rather than acknowledging our difference and seeking our truth, we assume something is very wrong with us and invalidate ourselves for not being able to fit in with everybody else’s points of view.
Have you noticed how judgement always seems to diminish your true sense of self? Judgment also destroys our joy and sense of freedom to choose what truly...
| Magyar |
There is almost no mom out there that hasn’t felt guilt around parenting. How often do you allow guilt to eat at you over the choices you make? Guilt is where you judge yourself for not being enough, not doing enough and not fitting in other people’s standards of what is good, right, correct and appropriate. There are plenty of “hot” issues that moms can judge themselves about: breastfeeding vs. the bottle, staying at home or returning to work, being a single parent or co-parent, “healthy” vs. “unhealthy” food and diet, being a “cool and calm” mom vs. a helicopter mom—just to name a few!
If we don’t consciously choose beyond guilt, we can risk spending our...